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STRAIGHT OUTTA COMPTON BITCH NIGGA WHAT FUCK FUCK
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 13th, 2008|12:51 pm] |
LET'S PLAY A GAME
THE GAME IS CALLED "RIDDLES"
RIDDLE 1. WHAT IS SITTING AT THE BOTTOM OF THE GULF AND RHYMES WITH THE WORD "WALINESE ROOM" |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 26th, 2008|09:24 pm] |
Not doing anything this spring break? Take a trip to the glorious Casa de Mierda Agua!
Built after the 1900 Storm, Casa de Mierda Agua is Spanish for "House of Clear Water", in honor of Galveston's notoriously pristine and crystal clear beach systems.
Visitors to Galveston will be received warmly by the local rats (known colloquially about the island as "land fish") and other wildlife, such as pigeons, spiders, packs of wild dogs, hyenas, sharks and perhaps even a native Galvestonian or two. Returning visitors often make special note of the island's pleasant year round climate, which is described by some as "no more than 130 degrees" and "barely tolerable".
College going Spring-Breakers should be sure to check out Galveston's state-famous Miss Incest Pageant, where 21 of the best and brightest young ladies on the island compete to find out whose inbred genes contain the least amount of "foreign contamination"! While at the pageant, make sure to try some of Auntie Yolanda's Homeless Punch, a local favorite. Auntie Yolanda won't say what her secret ingredient is, but one tourist remarked that her punch "tasted like jenkem", going on further to say "huurrkkkk erkkk, I can't feel my face, help me I am being attacked by giant spiders with machineguns, oh god the spiders can no one else see them sweet christ they're crawling undermyskin ohgodthey'reinsideme they're layingtheireggsinme hurrkkk erkk".
As you can see, there are several reasons to visit Galveston, but the true Galveston Experience is to be had at Casa de Agua Mierda, run and operated by local legend Travis Arnold. Respectfully called "Bastardo Borracho" by the natives, Travis takes his job as head of the house very seriously, having been known to have once killed two bears with his bare hands, which he now refers to as his "bear hands". We were not entirely sure what he meant by that, or how it related to his skills as a caretaker, but he assured us that anyone who wasn't, in his own words, a "fucking bag of cunt asses" would understand entirely. While we would have liked to have learned more about Travis's responsibilities as caretaker, soon after telling us his story he became irate, called us "douched up cunting bags of cunt-ass cunt asses", and proceeded to beat us severely around the head and shoulders with two large, blood covered burlap sacks, which we later learned were in fact filled with cunt asses.
Casa de Mierda Agua is having a four day Spring Break Special, from Monday through Thursday of Spring Break. For only 30 dollars, a tourist can sleep and drink at Casa de Mierda Agua, which we can tell you from personal experience is adequately safe.
Visit Scenic Galveston! |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 21st, 2007|12:19 am] |
So, the reason I haven't been writing in here much lately is because I sort of have a real life now.
IS THAT TOO REAL FOR YOU |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 30th, 2007|01:51 pm] |
So, I got my clean on this weekend and basically threw away my childhood. It was pretty intense. But let's go back in time and start on Friday.
1. Went to Lasertag with John.
2. RAZED IT TO THE GROUND
3. Went to Dina's house.
4. RAZED IT TO THE GROUND
5. Won a radio contest on KTRU; was subsequently awarded 1 million indie points.
6. Went to a show at warehouse live.
7. Had a good time, then
8. RAZED IT TO THE GROUND
9. Went to see Gavin play jazz, had face melted off.
10. Was given a pair of children's bongos to play; performed poorly.
11. Woke up, with pure force of will destroyed large shelf that is the bane of my house.
12. Placed childhood in large plastic bag, disposed of childhood.
13. Orange-glo'ed the floor.
14. Had a tasty steak.
15. Noticed rather severe body odor caused by working all day, bathed, smelled nice.
16. Slept.
17. FIN |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 29th, 2007|10:32 pm] |
So, APPARENTLY it's illegal to go the wrong way on a one way street. Who knew.
Also, contrary to popular belief having a girl dressed up like Daisy Duke in the passenger seat will not get you out of a ticket. The justice system here is fucked. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 28th, 2007|02:20 am] |
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Yesterday was a kickass day. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 21st, 2007|11:03 pm] |
So, I just finished Harry Potter.
I'm going to revel in the joy that J.K. Rowling has placed in my heart for tonight.
Tomorrow morning, I'll of course start making fun of it just like the rest of you cool kids. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 26th, 2007|12:13 pm] |
Reasons to love KTRU Rice Radio:
1. Just heard a deathmetal cover of Rock Lobster.
2. Seriously, shit was intense.
I'll think of more later. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 19th, 2007|03:19 pm] |
Fantastic Four was set up for the express purpose of pissing me off about Dr. Doom.
Sure, they set it up to where he was like the comic Doom, right up until he confronts Silver Surfer for the first time.
I was like "SWEET CLASH OF THE TITANS"
BUT.
Then they just had to have Morph- uh, Norrin Rad shoot him with the douche laser that turned him back into the douche from the first movie.
Also: wtf@ giant dust storm Galactus. Needs moar purple. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 9th, 2007|04:38 am] |
Alright, so this spider was totally making a web in my car while I was driving.
wtf@ that. |
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